CONFESSIONS #3
I often fantasize about the life I might have had, had I not boarded the plane home from Spain. I love rose wine. I don’t know how to make the accent on “rose” in Linux. I fall in love too easily. I miss Savannah, but I don’t want to live there because I think I would never meet any queers and also it seems like too small a city. But it is desperately beautiful. I once accidentally shot a bird. When Judy Garland sings “The Man that Got Away,” I cry uncontrollably. Nine times out of 10 if I am moody, it has nothing to do with you. The memory of my motorcycle trip is fading fast; often I wonder if it happened at all. The happiest I’ve been in almost four years was while on that trip, I do not want to ever forget it. My cat is currently sleeping on my foot. My housemate and I are both lefthanded and prefer drinking our coffee out of tiny cups. I find her utterly charming. Sometimes I want to change my name. I haven’t finished a book in two months. If I catch you stealing my morning paper I will shoot you in the ass with my bb gun. I had to take a klonopin in order to sleep tonight. Therefore I am currently a bit drugged, and this would be an excellent time to play truth or dare with me. No one ever asks me the questions I want them to ask when I play truth or dare. I have a secret wish that someone taps on my door in the middle of the night and demands to crawl into my bed to snuggle. I like having things demanded of me, because I am usually able to follow through. A girl wrote me a song this week, and I am at once flattered and baffled. My landlady caught me sunbathing topless in the front yard this afternoon. But I think she thought I was a guy, so it turned out okay. I hate my car. I overcommit on occasion. I like the concept of open relationships but have not yet had a successful one. Sometimes I forget that candles are an option. I am addicted to running away. I am an extremely strong swimmer. I would like to live on a houseboat at least once in my lifetime. I fear tragic accidents. I need a job, but I don’t mind being poor. Austin is a lazy town and this annoys me. I own too many clothes and boots. Shining shoes is wonderfully relaxing. I think of Juliet Pennay every time I switch on my bedroom lamp.
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